Easter, I have questions.
Easter is easily one of the funnest holidays of the year. It has some of the wonder of Christmas, without the overwhelming urge to run up your credit card to make it the best day ever.
It has the chocolate of Halloween, but you don't need to dress up like a zombie or a sexy nurse and walk door to door to get it.
It's far enough from the year end holidays that you're ready for it, and it comes late enough in the year that you're starting to put away your winter clothing when you celebrate.
But there are plenty of things about Easter that make me scratch my head. The more I think about the holiday, the less sense it makes... and I've been thinking about it all week.
So, here are my questions about Easter!
1. Why does the Easter Bunny get all of the credit?
At Christmastime, Santa is the big man on campus. Kids write letters to him, people leave him milk and cookies by the chimney, and parents even get their kids to sit on his lap at the mall.
But we also know that he doesn't do it alone. We know he has the elves to help him make all those toys, the reindeer to get him to every house in a single night, and Mrs. Claus to tend to his big red suit and to rub Santa's shoulders. There's even been movies about all of them to some extent.
The same can't be said for the Easter Bunny. This guy is perceived as a one man show.
Never mind the fact that he's delivering eggs which clearly come from some kind of fowl. And never mind the fact that he's not just putting them under a tree but taking the time to hide them everywhere.
Nope, according to most people, he's doing it all on his own.
I don't buy it.
There are clearly chickens of some kind involved in this.
2. If there are chickens doing the work, then why don't they get any credit?
Sure, you see little yellow baby chicks on some packaging, and there are those marshmallow peeps which are more delicious than they have any business being.
But no one is saying, "Thanks Easter Chickens for making all those eggs!"
And that's just wrong.
Have you ever shopped at Lush? They're a cosmetics store, and on every product sold you'll find a sticker. On it you'll find the likeness of the person who made your soap, along with his or her name. That way you not only know who sold the soap to you, you know who put the effort into creating it.
And I think that's pretty awesome.
We all deserve a little recognition.
So, I think that the chickens who make the eggs should also get a little sticker that they can put on any of the chocolate eggs they lay. That way you can take a moment to think about who made that delicious treat.
3. If the Easter Bunny delivers Kinder Surprises to kids in the US, is he transporting contraband?
Kinder Surprises are illegal in the US, but they're also chocolate eggs, so one would think that the Easter Bunny would deal with them from time to time.
But if the F.B.I. (Federal Bunny Inspector) caught him delivering Kinder Surprises, how much trouble could the Easter Bunny get into? Are we talking about a fine, or could the Bunny be behind bars?
That's a scary thought... although if he wanted to get away from the police he probably could. I mean he is a magic bunny. I would hope that speed would be one of his powers.
Santa does all the delivering himself with his magic sleigh, but is there only one Easter Bunny?
If there's only one, how does he get all the eggs hidden? If there's more than one, how many are there? How do they decide who works what area? Are there Easter Bunny unions? Are they getting paid? How would one sign up to become an Easter Bunny?
I think there's more than one. I think there's one per province at least. Maybe Nanaimo even has it's own Easter Bunny. I wonder what his name is?
I was at the store this week and noticed that they have gift cards just for Easter. Who's giving these out instead of chocolate? Even if you're giving them out with chocolate, you're only spending money that would be better spent on more chocolate.
If someone were to call out to me on the street and say, "Hey! I have an Easter present for you!" and then when they caught up with me they handed me a card, I'd be happy they made the effort, but disappointed that they didn't realize that chocolate is obviously the superior Easter gift.
All I know is that if your kids wake up on Easter Sunday to a gift card, you are gonna get some tears. Even if that gift card contained $100 cash, they're gonna be asking, "Where's the candy, eh?"
If you have answers to any of these questions, I'd love to hear them! If I can scratch a few of these questions off my list it'll give me more time to ponder other wonders - such as, Does the Easter Bunny vacation with Santa Claus during the summer?
Post your answers below and I'll share them on The Wave over the long weekend! www.1023thewave.com